Friday, May 28, 2010

Long Time, No Blog

Summer is officially here! 
We have been SO very busy swimming, hanging with friends, going to see the animals, playing in the fountains, running, and all sorts of things.
We have been to the zoo, the pool, and the children museum just this week.  Crazy!

This past Sunday I had asked for prayers for patience with Jonas.  I think some people thought I was joking but this is NO joke.  He really has caused me to question myself as a mother.  I was questioning my motives, how I discipline, how I yell, what I say, how I say it, etc.  It is not even that he is bad, really, it is just devious, negative, LOUD, and disrespectful.  He refuses to LISTEN.  He runs away from me in Wal Mart, at church, everywhere.  I am really afraid he will get hurt.  Anyways, I was TRULY at my wits end.  I still am sometimes but it has gotten better.  So I had asked for prayers and they were answered on Monday and Tuesday.  I had the most precious little three year old in my house those two days.  He has not gone away completely but a little bit of that other kid has seeped in the past few days.  I really have been trying to be more patient.  I also have been avoiding spanking or yelling.  Sometimes I have to yell because he still has a hard time listening.

Tinzley on the other hand has been so great.  She is just so funny.  I know she will be more of a handful someday but for right now I am enjoying every second I have of a relaxed chilled kid.  Example of this was yesterday.  We went to the pool with some great friends, who are moving and I am so sad, and she sat in a lounge chair by us two moms for over an hour eating her snack and watching all the kids splish splash in the pool.  I love that she just wants to lay out and relax. That is my kind of kid!

Here are some pics of Tinzley in her pigtails and then what happens when you take them out.  I love it!

Monday, May 17, 2010


(I kind of stole the idea of my title from my friend Andrea who happened to be our friend at the zoo today.)
Every month I try, very hard, to get the moms that stay home together.  We usually meet up at each other's houses or parks so today I thought it would be fun to meet up at the zoo.
It started out looking gray, and cooler but turned into a beautiful day!
We ate a little breakfast snack and headed into the zoo.  We went to the children's petting zoo part first.  I had not been through the woodsy area since we first moved here.  I actually really enjoyed it because we got to see a rooster up close and personal and we also got to see some otters swimming around.
After we strolled through this section of the zoo the kids wanted to play on the play area.  As we were sitting there enjoying our view from the bench the fountains were turned on.  (We thought we were not going to get in the fountains because they said they were closed due to maintenance)  Well, we headed over there to check it out and much to our surprise and delight they were all fixed up and working!  YAY!
So the kids got all changed and had a blast playing in the water.  The babies got into it too.  Tinzley liked it but wanted to climb up the steps more than play in the water!
What a fun day!

Thanks also to Andrea on the AWESOME pics!

On another note...
I am working on running a half marathon.  As some of you may know, I am a HUGE Biggest Loser fan.  Every year I have been watching they have ran a marathon on the last episode before the finale.  Well, every year I feel like the biggest loser watching these people who were 350-400+ lbs run a marathon.  Back in September I took a little stumble down some stairs and have not been able to exercise really since then.  Well, I feel much better now and so I have been working on my running game.  I am trying to get 3 miles down so I can really start training.  It takes about 3-4 months if you can run a good 3 miles.  I will keep you posted of my progress.  This is something I really want to do!
After saying all of that, I was running Saturday night and took a little spill.  I banged up my knee pretty bad and hurt my other ankle.  I am taking a couple days off and then I am planning to get back out there. On Saturday I ran 20 min straight rested for 5 and then ran another 10.  I am on my way!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Mother's Day :)

I had a great Mother's Day.  I got both my presents the day before.  My Mom made me a shirt with a picture of Jonas and Tinzley on it and Jonas and Tinzley got me a show I watched last year the whole time I was pregnant with Tinzley, Legend of The Seeker, on DVD.  Kind of cheesy but a good idea.  :)
On Sunday I got to sleep a little later than I normally do on Sunday and got up to Tom already having Jonas fed.  Tom was a great help all day and was there for anything I needed.  Thanks Tom!
We went to lunch at Olive Garden and the kids were very good.  We got home in time for nap time.  It was a beautiful day outside and a perfect Mother's Day!

Thanks to my Mom and Dad, and also to Tom.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Tinzley's Cupcake Birthday

Today you turned one year's old.  You weigh around 20 pounds.  You are still wearing size 3 diapers and you no longer take any bottles.  You do not like peas or carrots but you will eat pretty much anything else.  You will literally put ANYTHING in your mouth.  You are happy 95% of the time.  You can say Mama, Dada, Bye Bye, Baby, Hi, and your own version of Jonas.  You stood by yourself for the first time two days ago.  You also do not mind getting dirty or scraped up.  You love to climb on anything you can.  Today we found you sitting in your rocking chair reading a book.  You are very independent.  You play extremely well by yourself.  You prefer me to anyone but Daddy is pretty good too.  You are nice to strangers but are still a little cautious when meeting new people.  You love to play.  You love music and you love to move to the music.  You have recently been trying to 'sing' when you hear music.  You put your hand up to your ear when we say hello, like you are talking on your phone (I do not know where you get this ;) )
You should also know that you have been one HUGE blessing this year.  You have brought joy and happiness to my life.  You have taught my patience.  You have taught me to love unconditionally and you taught me to be happy.  For that is what you are, you are patient, you are happy, and you love unconditionally.  So thank you!
We love you and look forward to many more years.
Love, Mommy

Happy Birthday Tinzley!

She climbed up in this chair and started reading the book all by herself.
I love you Tinzley!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Birthday Banner


We have a birthday coming up soon!  So I wanted to make Tinzley a birthday banner.  We are not having a huge birthday bash but we are having a few people over to celebrate so I have been trying to come up with ways to decorate.  I got this idea from my friend Andrea who is an AWESOME scrapbooker and also very creative. 
Tinzley's birthday theme is pink and purple and cupcakes.  I found this scrapbook chipboard on JOANN fabrics.  It is in the shape of cupcakes so I could not resist.

Here are some pics of the finished product.  :)

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Pig Tails

Some Pics and a Happy Belated Birthday

I cannot believe that in one week Tinzley is going to be one year.  It is crazy to think about all the things that have happened this year.  We have had a lot of changes and a lot of blessings.  We have hard times, good times, sad times, happy times, and times of frustration and confusion.  I have personally had a year of a lot of thinking, praying, and figuring out of what I want to do with this life I have been given.  I never wanted to stay home with my kids.  I never thought I could do it or be able to do it.  Last year I was forced with a decision.  Last year to the day I was told I would no longer have a job teaching third grade.  Last year when I found this out I was planning to have a baby in a week.  Last year I thought this was the worst possible news I could have gotten.  (I have learned it is not the worst news just not good news)  Yes, I could have gone a looked for a job.  The thought of that was so overwhelming at the time that I just shut down that option altogether.  How could I go look for a job?  Someone had just told me I was not good enough.  Someone had just told me you do NOT have what it takes to be a good teacher, or to be a teacher at all.   I will admit I did not LOVE my job everyday but I did love those kids.  I loved the people I worked with and my team.  That was all taken from me.  This are all the things I had to think about last year. 
It took me almost the whole year to admit to myself and to my very patient and understanding husband that I had lost ALL confidence in myself.  As a teacher, as a mother, a wife, a daughter.  I was not good enough to hold down a job and help support my family.  I was not good enough to teach other people's children, how would I teach my own?  I had failed.  This is how I saw it and I saw it no other way. 
Okay, I say all of that to say this.  I do not know if I was suppose to stay home.  I know that I would not have made that decision if I had not been forced to.  I do feel as though this year has taught me a lot about myself, my kids, my walk with Christ, and what I really want for my life.  It has been hard.  It has been challenging.  Staying home can be a very lonely place.  You can feel as though no one understands or cares about your life because your life is your kids, your husband, your house.  You give and give and give and on some days get nothing back and other days get a smile, or flowers, or someone else doing the dishes, or someone else doing bath time, or an uninterupted shower.  This are the things you have to look forward to.  These are the things that really matter.  TIME.  TIME with your family, time with your kids.  You only get so much.  Jonas is going to be 4 in October and Tinzley is turning 1.  I only have a few years left until they are off to school and then time REALLY flies by.  Do I appreciate everyday?  NO.  Do somedays I suck as a mom?  YES! (Just ask Jonas)  Do I try my best?  YES  Am I happy?  This is the question I struggle with everyday.  How does one measure happiness?  It is so hard.  In my heart I know the answer is a resounding YES.  But sometimes it is hard.  I let other things get in the way.  Money is a big one.  Selfishness also a BIG one.  What does yourself matter anymore when you have kids?  It doesn't.  That is hard because we, well I, struggle with selfishness and materialism.  I also have very little patience.  I want to be better.  I want to do what is right and I think staying home has really helped.  No excuses. 
(Sorry, if you are reading this and thinking where is she going?  No where.  I ramble.  My english teachers hated me!  :)  I am not a very good writer so sorry!  I just write how I talk.)
I just want to say thank you to those who have helped me on my bad days, hung out with me and my kids on good days, lisitened to stories, commented on my pictures or blogposts, responded to emails, been my friend, encouraged me through examples you set, answered the phone when you saw it was me (again), and taken on my kids so I could have a break.  :)  You all know who you are.  Those who are reading this and this is not news to you.  You were there for me.  So THANK YOU!  I am still wrestling with the idea of working.  My parents on moving down here soon and that would make it convienent.  But most of the time it just does not feel right to leave my kids with someone else even if it is family.
Just keep us in your prayers that we know what the right answer/path is for us to follow.

Also, a very happy birthday to my AMAZING husband.  I LOVE YOU! 

So here are some pics that I promised.  Tinzley is getting into everything and is everywhere.  She has some very silly faces.  She took a little spill about a week ago.  So that is the mark on her nose.