Monday, September 7, 2009

We have been so busy this week. We went out every night but one in the last 7 days. We are looking forward to staying home this week and relaxing at home.


We are very thankful for all of our family and friends that we have made down here. We are truly blessed by all the people in our lives. Thanks to all of you who make our lives so special!

On a side note, I took myself off of my medicine, "happy pills", and have really been struggling. We do not have insurance so I did not want to burden our family with having to pay for a doctor's appointment and a prescription. I am incredibly frustrated with myself for being so weak and for being so impatient, not understanding my children's needs, and crying sometimes for no reason. Losing my job last year really took a toll on me and I do not think I have fully come to grips with it. I think about it a lot and wonder what I should have done differently. I also think about the incredible opportunity I have being able to stay at home with my beautiful children. I am really so lucky and it is amazing to me how forgetful I can be and how I can be so ungrateful.
For those of you who read this and know me please say a prayer for me. I do not like asking for help, as most of you would know who really know me, but I need it. I need to know that what I am doing is the right thing. That I can be a good mom and a good wife and not make my family feel bad. When your child tells you he just wants you to be happy again, well it makes my heart break that I can have that effect on my children. Also, I am really struggling with making true friends down here. I have let some people get the best of me and I am really struggling to not be angry with them and myself.
I also apologize if you are reading this and are thoroughly confused. I am tired, frustrated, and wanting to be happy for my wonderful life God has given me.
I pray for all of you and hope that whatever comes your way makes you happy!

5 comments:

Andy & Meg Williams said...

Hey, Kortney! This is Meg Williams (cousin-in-law) in Birmingham. You're not weak--you're a (re)new mom! I didn't realize you already had baby #2. We just had our third--some days can be really tough, can't they? We love our precious joys, but hormones and life's ups and downs can really be overwhelming, esp after a new one. If you want to get together some time, I'd love to meet up with you again. The last time we met was out to eat and at church for a meeting we had, so it's been a while!

Phifer Family said...

Thanks Meg for saying that. Staying home is new to me and just not something that was planned. I DO love it and want to stay home it is just hard. :)
We do need to get together soon. We are now in Alabaster.
Tinzley is now 4 months old. It is going so fast!

Andy & Meg Williams said...

We are going out of town this coming week, but later this month let's meet up. We can meet halfway or I could come down there to make it easier for you. My emai1 is oicurmt2 at gmail d0t c0m. Isaac is three months old and CJ is almost three--that should be fun!

ThePathToChoose.com's Home Business Blog said...

Kortney,
Uncle Philip here. I went through a deep depression after my first wife tossed me out for another guy. While counting channels on my dish tv, I stopped when 20-20 had a program about depression and a herb called St. John's Wort. I went the next day to a health food store in Florida and got their last bottle. I tripled the dosage for a week and woke up one morning feeling like myself (I hadn't felt that way in a long time). If you can go to any place that sells vitamins, you will find it. It beats the pills doctors prescribe. I was on an anti-depressant for a while and it didn't help, but the St. John's Wort did the job. After a couple of months, I stopped taking it and have been good ever since. We are praying for you. Friends and family are always here for you and we really do love you and we care.
Uncle Philip

g8rcop35 said...

Kortney,
Uncle Philip here. I went through a deep depression after my first wife tossed me out for another guy. While counting channels on my dish tv, I stopped when 20-20 had a program about depression and a herb called St. John's Wort. I went the next day to a health food store in Florida and got their last bottle. I tripled the dosage for a week and woke up one morning feeling like myself (I hadn't felt that way in a long time). If you can go to any place that sells vitamins, you will find it. It beats the pills doctors prescribe. I was on an anti-depressant for a while and it didn't help, but the St. John's Wort did the job. After a couple of months, I stopped taking it and have been good ever since. We are praying for you. Friends and family are always here for you and we really do love you and we care.
Uncle Philip